Readers, Help Me Decide. Is Simpler Better?

Let Your Light So Shine mugThis morning I wrote a song, a very simple song for children to sing.  It started as I sang to myself while I was making breakfast,  pouring a drink into a “Let Your Light Shine” mug.

At my laptop, the song grew into a poem, “Choice #1” below.

The Problem

When I tried to SING what it had grown in to, I was disappointed.  It didn’t sing very well.  I enjoyed the subtle references to familiar scripture, and the arc of the poem.  But it didn’t SING well.

(For those of you who can think in music, here is the tune I used:

la-so fa la ti, so-fa mi so do,
fa-mi re fa ti la so!
la-so fa-so la ti, so-fa mi-fa so do,
fa-mi re fa ti re do.)

So, I just started singing, imagining singing with three-year-olds in Sunday School.  That turned in to the second song below.

Now, I’m in a pickle.  Do I save the first one for my upcoming Joyful Read-Aloud, Read-Along Rhymes:  Songs of Love and Faith?

Or do I admit I ruined it by trying to expand on it.  Should I go with the simple song?

I decided I would ask your advice.

The Choices

Choice #1 the First Try:

Let My Light So Shine

Let my light so shine, let my light so shine,
Oh, let my light so shine!
That others may see what Heaven can do
With a little light like mine.

Let my love so grow, let my love so grow
Oh, let my love so grow!
That others may see the Lord I serve
Because that’s how they’ll know.

Let my song ring out, let my song ring out,
Oh, let my song ring out!
That others may hear the Gospel news
And join my happy shout.

Let my light so shine, let my light so shine,
Oh, let my light so shine!
That others may see what Heaven can do
With a little life like mine.

oOo


Choice # 2 the Simple Song:

Let My Light So Shine

Let my light so shine, let my light so shine,
Oh, let my light so shine
That others may see what Heaven can do
With a little light like mine.

Let me show my love, let me show my love,
Oh, let my light so shine,
That others may see what Heaven can do
With a little love like mine.

Let me help someone, let me help someone
Oh, let my light so shine
That others may see what Heaven can do
With a little help like mine.

Let me sing my song, let me sing my song
Oh, let my light so shine,
That others may see what Heaven can do
With a little song like mine.

Let my light so shine, Let my light so shine,
Oh, let my light so shine,
That others mays see what Heaven can do
With a little light like mine.

oOo

Readers, which choice do you recommend?  And why?  I’m eager for your help.

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About Susan Call Hutchison

A self-publishing author, editor and blogger. I have years of experience working one-on-one with readers and translators of English, at all levels of competence. My books include the Read-Aloud, Read-Along series and Mrs. Middlejoy's Church Mouse Adventures chapter books. I run an internet business from my home in Idaho and I tutor students learning English as a foreign language. Fostering literacy is my passion. I work to help families read, learn and enjoy creative time together.
This entry was posted in The Writing Process, Writing about Religion in Children's Books and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Readers, Help Me Decide. Is Simpler Better?

  1. tinafriesen says:

    I love that you are writing music for children. I wish you had a recording of your song here. There are widgets that let you post your music. Have you considered that?

  2. gpcox says:

    Wanted to drop in and tell you how much I appreciate your loyal reading and commenting. It is friends like you that make it all worthwhile.

  3. gpcox says:

    Forgot to add – I prefer #2.

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